Paging Maury Povich

Check out what I spotted at our drugstore (British translation: chemist):

Apologies for the blur factor, but please tell me you can read the "Court Admissible" tagline!

Does this mean Maury Povich is out of a job?? Speaking of, if you're American and start to feel high-and-mighty and that our country is the best in the world....watch an episode.  You will quickly be brought to your knees with embarrassment.  

Delivery for Dummies

One of the biggest things I've looked forward to in NYC is the restaurant scene.  Every part of it -- "the world is your oyster" options, places staying open until midnight and deliveries any time of day or night.  Back in the UrbanFetch era (circa 1999), I was known to order a DVD (or was it still VHS back then?), slice of pizza, drinks and Tylenol from one place and it would all be delivered within an hour!

Yesterday I saw a Pinkberry delivery guy in our elevator.  If you're not familiar, Pinkberry is a frozen yogurt chain.  (HK folks, it's the same as Yo MaMa.) The kind of place you see when you're walking on a Sunday afternoon and feel like indulging your sweet tooth.  You go in, order a cup and then peruse the vast display of toppings (Capn Crunch, blueberries, coconut, you name it).  You leave, yogurt in hand, and proceed to eat it spoonful by spoonful as you walk down a sunny NYC street.  It's more event, than food.

You do not call Pinkberry and ask them to deliver a cup of yogurt to your door. Which the deliveryman confirmed when I asked him who would order yogurt for delivery and he replied - "some lazy ass people".  I think he wanted to say "some lazy ass white people," but refrained.

Whiter Shade of Pale

Do you know what's depressing as f*ck??  Watching yourself grow paler every day and knowing that it's going to be at least 4 months before your skin sees the sun again.

I do not look good pale.  Not one bit.

And please don't say "foundation".  I'm not skilled enough to wear it and always end up with that crass line separating my face from my neck.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Pretty sure I've complained about how Hong Kong grocery stores are hit or miss.  For three months straight they'll have your favorite brand of popsicles.  Then, they run out and you don't see them again for a year (if you're lucky!)  Or you'll come in for what I consider a staple - blueberries, chicken breasts, garlic - and find that they have none in stock.  Not a berry, breast or clove in sight...and they are perplexed that you find this ridiculous.

Now I live in a place where you can buy a package of 10 hard-boiled, already-peeled eggs.  Some company will boil and peel your eggs for you - because who can be bothered to do that?!

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or buy a package and make deviled eggs.

Really??

When we moved into our place in Hong Kong, Pricoa - the relocation company, gave us a nice bottle of red wine.

Here's what we got from them this time:

Welcome to the States.  Would you like fries with that?  

For All That is Holy and Merciful

Please God, make it stop.  I cannot handle winter today.  I. Just. Can't.

I forgot about the stinging, burning sensation that comes right before numbness.

I forgot that you need to carry around a family-sized box of tissues because your nose will run for no reason other than it is freezing to death.

I forgot that once you get into anywhere warm (like a subway car), you immediately start to sweat under all your layers.

I forgot that you lose peripheral vision when you're bundled up in a scarf, hat, parka coat hood and sunglasses.

I honestly don't know if I will survive this winter.

Meanwhile, my HK friends are jetting off to the beaches of Boracay and Koh Samui.  Bitches.

Supersize Me

We went to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo the other night.  It was a slightly revolting experience.  Two seats had a big white sheet over them that read "Accident Being Cleaned Up".  I don't want to think about what kind of accident can't be cleaned up immediately.  The floors were gross and sticky and the annoying chicks with Lawn-Guyland accents yammering on behind us were also gross.

Oh how I remember nestling into my oversized leather armchair (pre-selected and reserved arm chair, I might add) in Hong Kong waiting for the movie to start.  Granted, I was watching a movie that had been out in the States for a good 6 months...

However, the big ah-ha "we're not in HK anymore, Toto" moment was when we got our drinks from the concession stand.  I ordered a medium Diet Coke. Here's what I got:

Not sure the first picture does it justice, but hopefully the second does.  I had to use TWO HANDS to lift the thing up to my mouth.  In fact, my two hands together *just* formed the circumference of the lid.  It was gigantic!  I have to assume the large is reserved for a family of four.

All of that moral outrage aside, I managed to slurp the entire thing down plus a bag of the new pretzel M&Ms.  :)

[Editor's Note: For all the disbelievers out there, it should be noted that I have normal, non-dwarf sized hands.]