Math in Reverse

Let me start by confessing that math has never been my strong suit.  Apparently reacclimating to the US dollar is another thing I'm not so good at.

As an expat living in a foreign land, you learn to take the price of something and convert it into your home currency.  $1 USD = ~$8 HKD, so my brain got to the point where it would automatically divide everything by 8 to see what the actual value was.  Otherwise I'd be looking at an $8 bottle of Diet Coke or an $88 t-shirt from H&M and thinking "Jesus, that's expensive."  Now, if I was living in Sydney, that *would* be the actual value!

Anyway, the problem I'm facing now is that my brain is still doing it...and I'm back in America where things are listed in USD.  So, I got a check recently for $6,000 and immediately devalued it to around $1,500.  I was in J Crew looking at a $120 sweater thinking, "$12?! It must be on sale."  

Not sure when my brain will finally accept that it's back in the land of the US Dollar.

Step one will be to stop referring to things in US dollars.  I was telling a story to some friends over the weekend and I said something along the lines of "...and it cost 40 US dollars."  My friend Al says, "You know you don't have to specify the currency; we all assume you mean US dollar."

Who knew that one thing I'd not be able to let go of was the freakin Hong Kong Dollar?!

One space makes all the difference

Cracking up over this photo on FB today:

For all the non-Americans, Safeway is a big grocery store chain.

Apparently this blog has turned into a receptacle for stolen FB posts and pictures. 

Hens with Heartburn

This one's from my friend Alisa:

Economics for Dummies

Since I am in NYC and have no good stories to share, I'm left to yank stories from my HK friends' Facebook pages.  Hello desperation!  That being said, I think you'll like this (and the one to follow).

This is my friend Anthea's recent experience at Mannings, the popular pharmacy chain in HK:

At Mannings buying bandages for my class (she leads a first aid class).  I notice they have none in stock and ask the sales assistant, "Are you out of bandages?"

She says, "No, we aren't stocking them anymore."

Anthea: "Really?! Why is that?"

Sales lady: "We were selling too many of them."

Anthea: "Pardon? What? Oh never mind..."

God this brings me back to being in HK!

It's Official

I suck.  I've been neglecting you, but mostly because I have nothing to say.  I think my repatriation really wasn't as jarring (for me) or entertaining (for you) as I thought it would be.  I could get on here and write about my daily life, but think you'd be asleep by the second paragraph.  It would literally consist of me bitching about having to clean my own bathroom, celebrating American grocery stores and reporting on some crazy shouting match I witnessed on the subway.  Pretty ho-hum stuff.

You deserve more than that!

Instead, I'm trying to talk my American friend in Hong Kong - who is exceedingly funny and who supplied at least 5 stories for this blog including the one about the old Chinese lady wearing the "I"m shy but I have a big dick" t-shirt - to take over for me. If I can convince her to do it, you will be in great hands.

Meanwhile, should I come across something here in NYC that is so damn good it just has to be reported, I will jump back on.

What I'm saying is that the dry spell may continue for a few weeks, but hopefully someone fantastic will take it over soon. 

Parenting

This'll be a quick one that, had I more time, could end up being a 5-page post.  Here's the difference between parenting styles in Discovery Bay and New York City:

Today a kid on a stationary (e.g., non-moving) scooter semi-blocked my exit at the grocery store.  His mother immediately saw this and said, "Carlton, I told you not to ride that thing in here."

Months ago, I was nearly knocked over by a kid on a scooter zooming by me in the grocery store in DB.  I rolled my eyes and said, "watch out" to which his mother gave me a dirty look and most definitely said nothing to her son.

I'm not even going to provide commentary on this; I think it speaks for itself.

PS - If Blondie from the Forum is reading this, I hope your head is exploding!  :)

Crackhead

Sorry to have been incommunicado the last few weeks.  I've been sleeping on an air mattress (borrowed from a friend) in an empty apartment...watching TV on a borrowed TV (another friend) and eating pre-made meals that don't require cooking from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I'm living like a crackhead.

And I have a newfound hatred for a certain moving company that shall remain nameless (forget that  -Asian Express/The MI Group) who are TWO WEEKS LATE in delivering our belongings from Hong Kong.

These are the times when people like the Unibomber make a lot of sense to me.