Parenting

This'll be a quick one that, had I more time, could end up being a 5-page post.  Here's the difference between parenting styles in Discovery Bay and New York City:

Today a kid on a stationary (e.g., non-moving) scooter semi-blocked my exit at the grocery store.  His mother immediately saw this and said, "Carlton, I told you not to ride that thing in here."

Months ago, I was nearly knocked over by a kid on a scooter zooming by me in the grocery store in DB.  I rolled my eyes and said, "watch out" to which his mother gave me a dirty look and most definitely said nothing to her son.

I'm not even going to provide commentary on this; I think it speaks for itself.

PS - If Blondie from the Forum is reading this, I hope your head is exploding!  :)

Crackhead

Sorry to have been incommunicado the last few weeks.  I've been sleeping on an air mattress (borrowed from a friend) in an empty apartment...watching TV on a borrowed TV (another friend) and eating pre-made meals that don't require cooking from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I'm living like a crackhead.

And I have a newfound hatred for a certain moving company that shall remain nameless (forget that  -Asian Express/The MI Group) who are TWO WEEKS LATE in delivering our belongings from Hong Kong.

These are the times when people like the Unibomber make a lot of sense to me.

Just Because

One of the big things I've been looking forward to are Sunday nights.  Specifically Sunday night TV. So far, we've had NFL play-off football (the Super Bowl is next Sunday!), Awards season (although the Globes were a little lackluster this year) and then a boatload of new shows I need to start watching - Homeland, Downton Abbey, etc.  It's like couch potato overload!

Tonight, I happen to be watching E!'s coverage of the SAG Awards.  Just me, a Brooklyn Lager and my pug who's happily chewing on a crack bone.  Hubby is at the office.  Yes, I do feel some shame about our individual circumstances.  So I figured instead of flooding my Facebook with minute-by-minute status updates (although I *do* love how it annoys people!), I'd capture my thoughts here.  (If this isn't what a blog is for, what is?!)

First off, the dresses are lightyears better than what showed up at The Globes.  I guess celebs saw the papers and watched Joan Rivers the next day and decided they needed to up their game.  Here's hoping the show is better than the Globes, too.  If your brain protected you from the tragedy by erasing it from your mind, here's just a small sampling:

Other random observations from tonight's red carpet:

John Krasinski may edge out Gosling slightly as sexy sexy sex man sexy man.  Tall, handsome and funny?  Deep breath, Jess.

While I love her style, Michelle Williams is just awkward in interviews.  She comes off as nervous (if you like her) and condescending (if you don't).  She's been doing this a long time, so even if she's a shy person by nature, I need her to get over it.  It's part of your job and you're kinda sucking at it.

How do I get Melissa McCarthy to be my new bff?

How do I get the gorgeous Kristin Wiig to stop dressing so badly?

Viola Davis and Rose Byrne have knocked it out of the park with their outfits!  That pantsuit is beyond.  Kinda feeling the same about Zoe Saldana (the tank top is a great touch!)

If I was on a yacht and that yacht got harpooned on a deserted island, the other two celebrity couples I'd want with me are John Krasinski/Emily Blunt and George Clooney/Stacey Keibler.  I feel like we'd have such a good time..and like I'd really fit in.  No really, I do!

I am sick to death of people calling Angelina stylish.  She looks embalmed and appears to be color-blind (black & white taupe are the only colors in her closet.)  And who in their right mind thinks stark white satin and blood red satin are a chic combo?  It's like a bad prom mafiosa dress.  There is NOTHING stylish about her.

Tina Fey has really lost the baby weight, huh?!  Good for her!  Maya Rudolph on the other hand...

So that's it.  Yes, I'm a bitch and yes, this wasn't exactly a well thought out post, but it's my blog and I'll do what I want with it until you stop reading.  :)

Super Bowl and Oscars red carpet, here we come!

Pharmacies Suck.

Here's how the medical process goes in Hong Kong:
You go to the doctor; he prescribes medicine; his nurse gives you the medicine; you leave with everything you need to get better.  Easy peasy.

Here's how the process goes here:
I feel like crap.  I call the doctor to set up an appointment and the doctor's receptionist informs me I'll need to bring my insurance card.  I don't have an insurance card, so I have to call insurance company Cigna (many conversations with automated computer that doesn't understand what I'm saying) and get ID number.

Go to doctor.  Get examined by doctor.  Ushered out the door by doctor with two prescriptions in hand.

Go to pharmacy #1 (Duane Reade) - located nowhere near doctor office. Hand pharmacist my prescriptions and tell her my insurance ID#.  Told the next day (!!) that Cigna is NOT my prescription insurance provider, only my medical/doctor provider.  Express Scripts is my prescription provider and they don't have a contract with Duane Reade.  A.k.a. - I'm not getting my meds here.

Go to pharmacy #2 (Rite Aid).  Hand pharmacist my prescriptions and Cigna ID#, explaining that I'm covered under Express Scripts.  She tells me they only have 1 of the 2 medicines in stock and that I need to provide more info from Express Scripts before she can fill the script.

Go home and call Cigna (automated computer hell) only to have them explain that they are a completely different company than Express Script.  They do have Express Script's number though (small miracle).  Call Express Script (more automated computer hell) and am given all info needed to get Rx filled.

Go back to Rite Aid and give the info for my 1 Rx.  Have given up hope on getting 2nd medicine.

Currently waiting for it to be filled and assume there will be 8 million more hoops to jump through, hiccups and meltdowns -- the latter from me, before I physically have meds in hand.

Now I ask you - sane, level-headed human being, which process would you prefer?????

Faux Yorker

Just when I think I've assimilated, the following happens:

I walk by a bar with a sign out front that reads, "Football all weekend long" and I think "Wow, soccer has really caught on here in the last three years."

That and I keep trying to go up the wrong side of the escalators.

Otherwise, I'm totally back.  ;)

Paging Maury Povich

Check out what I spotted at our drugstore (British translation: chemist):

Apologies for the blur factor, but please tell me you can read the "Court Admissible" tagline!

Does this mean Maury Povich is out of a job?? Speaking of, if you're American and start to feel high-and-mighty and that our country is the best in the world....watch an episode.  You will quickly be brought to your knees with embarrassment.  

Delivery for Dummies

One of the biggest things I've looked forward to in NYC is the restaurant scene.  Every part of it -- "the world is your oyster" options, places staying open until midnight and deliveries any time of day or night.  Back in the UrbanFetch era (circa 1999), I was known to order a DVD (or was it still VHS back then?), slice of pizza, drinks and Tylenol from one place and it would all be delivered within an hour!

Yesterday I saw a Pinkberry delivery guy in our elevator.  If you're not familiar, Pinkberry is a frozen yogurt chain.  (HK folks, it's the same as Yo MaMa.) The kind of place you see when you're walking on a Sunday afternoon and feel like indulging your sweet tooth.  You go in, order a cup and then peruse the vast display of toppings (Capn Crunch, blueberries, coconut, you name it).  You leave, yogurt in hand, and proceed to eat it spoonful by spoonful as you walk down a sunny NYC street.  It's more event, than food.

You do not call Pinkberry and ask them to deliver a cup of yogurt to your door. Which the deliveryman confirmed when I asked him who would order yogurt for delivery and he replied - "some lazy ass people".  I think he wanted to say "some lazy ass white people," but refrained.