Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Desperate Housewife Dreams

I hate admitting this out loud, but I think I've even started to dream like a housewife.

Over the weekend, I had two very real dreams:

The first was that I was married to both Vin and George Clooney.  (Not bad, huh?!)  Instead of dreaming about xxx-ing and ooo-ing Georgie-Poo, my dream centered around the fact that I had to make dinner for both of them and didn't have a lot in the fridge.  So here I am in all my housewife glory, trying to piece together half a chicken cutlet and some left-over salad for George and Vin.  Oh and then George says, "I have to lose 20 lbs for my next role, so I can only have protein."  And then I woke up in a sheer panic.

Do you think it has something to do with the beards?!

The next night I woke up in sheer terror...because I had a dream that I was violently and vividly stabbing Kate Gosselin.  Now part of me does think that Kate is the devil reincarnate and if I had to share a roof with her for longer than 24 hours we may come to blows.  And don't get me started on the fake tanning, fake nails and bizarre haircut.  But the level of aggression I had towards this fellow housewife was shocking...

I have a feeling my next dreams will involve a hot iron.


  1. The only thing that George has on me is that he was on the Facts of Life.

  2. Jess- I love your blog, it is hilarious. Do you watch The Real Housewives of NY?