Ni Hao

We're into our temporary housing (e.g. serviced apartment) and what it lacks in location (one block off Times Square - somebody shoot me!), it makes up for in space, beautiful floors and a balcony.  After the chopped-up suffocating HK apartments, I feel like I can actually breathe in this one.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post.  The point is that being one block off of Times Square means we're in the Theatre District.  When I spotted the marquee of the Broadway show directly across the street from our place, I realized the Chinese gods are looking out for me:

Surely that's a good omen, no?!

Drug Driving

The HK government put up a new sign on a major tunnel here leading into Central (e.g. our Midtown). It reads:

Drug driving maybe your journey to death.

I'm going to ignore "drug driving" and "maybe" and focus on the crux of the message.

While creative and unusual, "journey to death" is a bit too fun for their point. It sounds like you're about to board the latest rollercoaster at Six Flags. "Get ready for the scariest 3 minutes of your life on the new Journey to Death. After your 350-foot drop, you may just not come back." (cue sinister laughing)

As a child of the late 80s/early 90s, I prefer the "This is your brain on drugs" approach. Visual, straight to the point and dramatic - well as dramatic as frying an egg can be.

PS - thanks Laura for the heads up on this!!

Profeshionel Chinglish

Oh, the irony...

I need to open up a business where Chinese businesses consult me before printing anything in English.  I would make millions...and finally be able to afford a golf cart!

More T-shirt Chinglish

Spotted another beauty while walking in Central and - bonus points - this one includes Michigan!  Let's hope it's a slam on their football program.

 

And drum roll please, the tshirt says:

Motive Under Ground Janus

Rouces Run Bright

Supercrime

Exhausted

Michigan

T-Shirt Chinglish

Happened to have my phone handy so was able to capture this classic example of t-shirt Chinglish:

 

For those visually-impaired, it reads:

I can not to for a call for you even if I call me many times

Fun with Food

Two food-related items for you...

1. My husband spotted this gem:

I'm 99% sure they were going for "chicken nuggets," but let's be honest - "chicken nagged" is so much better.

2. And we both came across this at the Western-oriented grocery store in our town:

Because nothing quenches your thirst quite like...vinegar!  And I love the tag line - "Not only do they taste good, but they are good for you packed with lots of nutrition."  Who's "they"??

Best Part of a Brunch

Yeah, the coffee's good and who can complain about an omelet with lots of cheese, but the real good stuff at a brunch is the conversation.  I know, I know - I can hear the "duh" coming through the computer.  Here are two conversation nuggets I got in today's brunch:

1. My friend who's a flight attendant works with a male flight attendant who's name used to be Noel (pronounced like the Christmas word; not like a man's name) Lopez.  He legally changed his name to Noel Sugarplum Fruitcake.  Seriously.  Next time you're flying United and someone with a "Fruitcake" name tag serves you, it's not a joke.  (Oh and he's American, so I can't even blame this one on some language issue.)

2. Another friend of mine saw an old Chinese lady standing outside of our grocery store wearing a t-shirt that read: "I am very shy, but I have a big dick."  Now *this* one I can blame on the language issue.

Hamburger: Used or Unused?

Perusing the menu at our local Japanese restaurant and came across the following:

Call me crazy, but I prefer my hamburger unused.  :(

Fook Kiu Mansion

My friend Mahhhk (he's British, so the "r" becomes an "h") recently became a fan of this here blog and donated a fabulous photo he took of a building in Hong Kong.  He thought it would fit right in and we couldn't agree more.

Can you imagine giving people directions to your home or office and having to say, "it's the Fook Kiu building"?!  Nope, neither can I!

Chinglish TV shows

Channel 100 features all Cantonese-speaking shows.  The funniest thing is that many of them have English names -- corny English names like "Have a Nice Day" and "Home Sweet Home".  Now I have no idea what's discussed on these shows because they're all in Cantonese, but I get such a kick out of the commercials for the shows because they sound like:

"wang cha shin wan tau gang wok you Have a Nice Day shui san wing jon chu lok"

From the commercials, it doesn't look like Home Sweet Home has anything to do with homes, either.  Which makes me wonder if these people know what these freakin' phrases mean.    Maybe it's like all the idiotic Americans walking around with Chinese tattoos on their lower backs.  Someone told them they mean "peace" and "strength" when really they mean "idiot" and "fat-ass".

Getting back to HK TV, the show that REALLY freaks me out is called "Medical Check-up Horror Show".  I am not joking.  What on earth could this show be about??  I don't even want to venture a guess.

Blood Suckies

Walking through Central, you will see at least one office being picketed by locals.  It's kinda like the big blow-up rat in NYC -- it crops up at different spots around town every week.  I have no idea what these people are picketing about -- but the signs are the best.

One time I read one that said, "Canadians are killers."

And this one Citibank branch must be doing something wrong because there are people picketing outside EVERY DAY. And I don't mean every day the last month.  Every day for the last 20 months I've lived here people are outside with signs and bullhorns.  My friend Laura walked by last month and saw a sign that read - "Citibank are blood-suckies"

Blood-suckies?!  Priceless.

(Sorry I don't have photographic evidence for this posting.  I'll bring my camera to Central next week and see if I can get anything good.)

Shake 'em Buns

Shake 'em Buns is a popular burger chain in the Hong Kong.  Never having been inside but seeing the signs everywhere, Vin and I always laughed about how cute the name is.

Then Vin went in for lunch yesterday and had to choose from the menu that offered burgers called: Gang Bang, Debbie Does Dallas and Missionary.

Make that a clever, pornographic play on words.

My other favorite when perusing this menu is "Red on the Neck" which I have to assume is meant to be "redneck".  We don't get many rednecks in these here parts.