On

I thought Milky and Chewbacca were funny names. Then I was served at our local Starbucks by a guy whose name tag read:

On

Just On. His name is On.

He wouldn't let me take a picture of it. I guess I would be emabarrassed if my name was On too.

I wonder if his sister is named Off?

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Check out the name of this taxi driver:

Butt King Yu.

Someone named their son Butt. Or maybe it's Butt King as in Mary-Kate or Ann-Douglas.

Either way it's pretty ridiculous, isn't it?

The Fraggot

Only in Asia is it ok to have a TV personality named The Fraggot.  You have Stuart Scott in the States; we have The Fraggot here in Hong Kong.

Have a looksie at this commercial, which airs non-stop on our ESPN channel here:

http://www.espnstar.com/game/

Other than the ridiculous and quasi-offensive name of The Fraggot, are you astounded at the production quality?  The special effects alone are Oscar-worthy.

Best Part of a Brunch

Yeah, the coffee's good and who can complain about an omelet with lots of cheese, but the real good stuff at a brunch is the conversation.  I know, I know - I can hear the "duh" coming through the computer.  Here are two conversation nuggets I got in today's brunch:

1. My friend who's a flight attendant works with a male flight attendant who's name used to be Noel (pronounced like the Christmas word; not like a man's name) Lopez.  He legally changed his name to Noel Sugarplum Fruitcake.  Seriously.  Next time you're flying United and someone with a "Fruitcake" name tag serves you, it's not a joke.  (Oh and he's American, so I can't even blame this one on some language issue.)

2. Another friend of mine saw an old Chinese lady standing outside of our grocery store wearing a t-shirt that read: "I am very shy, but I have a big dick."  Now *this* one I can blame on the language issue.

What's in a Name?

Recently I organized a community event, which found me working closely with HK locals.  Lovely people, but the language barrier presented one of the highlights of the night. 

The person I worked most closely with was named Erica.  Halfway through the event Erica comes up to tell me that she has to leave and that her colleague will take her place for the remainder of the event:

Erica: I have to leave but my colleague Ennis here will help with anything that you need.

Not hearing Erica properly I turn to Ennis and say, Hi, I'm Jess.  Your name is 'eh-nis'?

Before Ennis can respond, Erica jumps in with, It's Ennis.  Sounds like anus.

Alrighty then...  The rest of the night I was so scared I was going to call the poor girl Anus.

Baba the Buckeye

So remember back when I shook my head in disbelief that I worked with someone named Baba?  When I got all high and mighty, looked down my nose and did all the other cliche things that a girl from NYC who thinks she's hot shit does?

Yeah, well it turns out Baba went to high school in England, college in Massachusetts and then went on to business school at THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY!  Yep, Baba is a bonafide Buckeye.

Here's us doing O-H-I-O at our recent event:

How does that famous saying go - Don't judge a book by it's first name cover??

Baba

I now work with someone named Baba.  As in the nickname you give to a child's bottle.

He's a grown-man.

I don't know.  I just don't know anymore.

Yo Ho

Vin started working remotely with a woman named Yolanda Ho.  After a few email back-and-forths, her manager jumped in and called her Yo, which means she goes by the name Yo Ho.

I wonder if she knows how many rap songs she's named in?!

For those of you keeping score at home, Morgan Stanley Hong Kong has a Chewbacca and a Yo Ho working for them... and those are the ones we KNOW about!

Fat and Milky

I need to come clean about something.  There's a chance that I've lost my illustrious "housewife" title and have to close down this blog or name it something else.  I took a job -- part time only! -- and so have passed off the cleaning portion of my duties to a lovely helper named Lyn.  I still cook (every meal), clean the dishes and laundry, do all the grocery shopping, iron Vin's shirts and walk Victor 3 times a day.  

You know what -- forget I said anything. I am SO justified in my title.


Anyway, my new job involves planning community events -- so it's great because I'm out meeting people, using my brain and putting 11 years worth of skills to use.  All without the crazy clients or ridiculously unrealistic deadlines.  Nice, huh?


However, this being Hong Kong, it's never straight-forward.  See the following email I received from a printing vendor I'm working with:

jessica,

I will send you the roof today.

Thanks,
Fat


Yes, I can now say I know someone named Fat.  And he's sending me a roof (not a proof).  Awesome.  


I wonder if Fat knows Milky, who just rang me up at our local drug store.

Stranger than Chinglish Fiction

I have a feeling you aren't going to believe me when I write this because it's just so frickin unreal but (drumroll, please)....

Chewbacca is a woman!!!!!!!!

Just when you thought things couldn't get any weirder on that front, some of Vin's Morgan Stanley colleagues inform me at a drinks outing that Chewbacca has lady bits.  His one colleague said he's thought about calling her up and just making the infamous Chewbacca guttural noise.  Would she even get it??

I am struggling with reality right now.

I MUST meet her.

Chinglish Names

It is common for Chinese people to have English names in addition to their given Chinese names. In fact, all forms here have blanks for both Chinese and English names (for the same person). For such a common custom, though, these people pick some uncommon (translation: bizarro!) names.

This first came to my attention at the grocery store when the check-out lady's name tag said, "Cinderella". Strange, I thought. I shared it with a friend of mine here who clued me in that the majority of Chinese people's English names are taken from cartoon characters. She told me her husband worked with a Chinese guy named -- get ready for it -- Chewbacca! I kid you not. Can you imagine having to say things like, "Hey Chewbacca, can you send me that report when it's ready?" Or listen to the guy answer the phone every day, "Morgan Stanley, Chewbacca Ling speaking."

My friend surmises that Chinese kids are allowed to choose their English names in first grade. It's the only thing that can explain why people would have such queerball, juvenile names. Although let's be honest, even if I HAD picked a name like that in the first grade, I would've made sure it was changed to something more sensible later on in life. And who are these parents that allow their kids to choose such silly names? I guess you can't really inject reason into something so insane.

Lest you think I'm making all this up, I took a picture of a real estate circular we got in the mail recently. Check out the name of the agent (it's under her picture).



Ice Ho. She is one tough bitch!